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Filtering by Tag: Advice

Never Say This

Suzanne Pollak

At some point you will end up saying something dumb or regrettable. The following list is by no means exhaustive, but the Deans have heard the following comments in the last year, so we want to help you avoid these monstrous pitfalls. We promise you, with our own ears, we have heard them all. 

2014 Top 7 Off Putters

Never let the Deans hear you say the following:                                                                                                                                                                               


No. 7 “Sorry, I have to cancel. I've got a different event."                                                               This is just rude and no host wants to hear that their event is not on the top of your list.  This excuse trumpets both indifference and a lack of social awareness, and marks you as a person who waits for better offers. 

No. 6 "You look so tired".                                                                                                                   We may think we look great, and hope we always do, so to hear we look tired is a total buzz kill. 

No. 5 “Can I bring my child to your party?”                                                                                          If you have children the host knows this so if your host wanted your child, they would have invited him or her in the first place.

No. 4 “The sliced tomatoes were fantastic”.                                                                                     This is a perfectly generous statement when the meal is simple and the tomatoes are outstanding. However, if the sliced tomatoes are placed next to an obviously labor intensive dish, then the comment will stick in the ear of the host. Dean Pollak made a timbale from Giuliano Bugialli's cookbook and the new girlfriend of an old friend raved about the tomatoes which took 30 seconds to slice and stayed silent about the piece de resistance. Dean Pollak is rankled. 

No. 3 “I just found someone online. Can I bring him or her to your dinner party, even though I haven't me them in person myself yet?"                                                                                           Hell no!

No. 2 “Your living room is too hot. Can we move to another room?”.                                   Arranging the flow of an evening from room to room is not arbitrary, If we have you in a certain room, it's because we want you in this room.  If you are uncomfortable at our house that is your problem, not ours.

No. 1  A guest is asked what he or she wants to drink. The host replies that quaff is not available. The guests retorts "Well that's what I want" or "I can't believe you ran out".  Both these statements put us on the spot and make us feel ungenerous.