Porch Love

(Photos courtesy of G. P. Schafer)

Charleston’s single and double porches have long been synonymous with hospitality. We entertain on our piazzas all year long because temperate climate offers a type of living not available in many urban environments.  These are special spaces to watch clouds move across the sky, birds fly in formation or snap to attention on a telephone wire...all while protecting us from a sudden rainstorm or blazing sun.

On a windy Winter afternoon, there is no better place to sit with a loved one, wrapped in a blanket while sipping smokey Hu-kwa tea sweetened with honey from the bees in the backyard. In Summer, the porch ceiling fan must whirl full speed and ice buckets stay filled with large cubes for the five o'clock cocktail hour, when bourbon and drops of bitters aid in watching the sun set and moon rise.

Communication is different on porches, upstairs and down. Why? Spaces effect people's behavior. On a ground floor porch, one converses with street walkers and neighbors across the garden, or possibly meets a passing stranger who might transform her life. Elevated porches are a different environment altogether: exotic, hidden, perfect for private uninterrupted conversations -- honest, vulnerable, and open -- a place to forge a deep connection. 

Outdoor rooms and fresh air make people looser and more able to talk freely, telling truths comfortably. People behave and think a certain way in an interior room and often say what they’ve said before. Four interior walls may hem one in physiologically. Outside, it’s easier to say things you have never said, perhaps even startling yourself.  

Spending a good portion of the day on a porch can make you feel differently too. Porch life is less chaotic, fresh air calms. And though you might sit on the porch all day, you won’t feel cooped up. The porch becomes your own little cocoon. A porch is a cozy room, an outside room, a safe sanctuary. Long Live the Piazzas!

The Right Tools for the Job

Angles matter. Whether cutting garlic cloves to release the most flavor, testing the doneness of steamed cauliflower, or simply choosing a spatula -- it’s all about esthetics & practicality.

Tony Hendra, Charleston Academy's Dean of Wit, likes to thinly slice his garlic because "the large combined surface area of the garlic means it releases its flavor faster and more fully when it hits the oil. Also crispy sautéed garlic slices are one of the great toppings for pasta, fish, and veggies (e.g. haricots verts.) In fact they're up there with 'amandine' or crispy sautéed almond slices. Sometimes I mix them to make my own special amandine.

I rarely mince unless I'm in high heels.  I only chop wood and suey."

We often use the term "Goodfellas thin" in reference to the famous scene in which lead character Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) describes how mob boss Paulie Cicero (Paul Sorvino) prepared dinner while they were doing time: “In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course, then we had a meat or a fish. Paulie was doing a year for contempt and had a wonderful system for garlic. He used a razor and sliced it so thin it would liquify in the pan with a little oil. It’s a very good system.”

When testing the readiness of steamed vegetables, people often use the tip of a knife. The Dean has learned that sometimes a knife tip is wrong for the gig. Using the tines of a fork with cauliflower is better. Three or four prongs provide greater surface area for poking and give a more accurate decision of doneness. 

Finally, the almighty spatula. The angle of the spatula makes the utensil more, or less, useful. In the photo, the top spatula, by Oneida, will enable the cook to slide food from the pan without having to tilt a screaming hot object.

In the kitchen, you're only as good as your tools. And remember, it's never the oven's fault...

The Academy in Charleston Magazine

The fine folks at Charleston Magazine recently paid the Dean a visit in order to taste a slice of life at the Academy. As always, she was happy to oblige with a tour of her Rainbow Row home, designed by James de Givenchy, as well as the garden, overflowing with citrus and honey.

Read the article and view the slideshow HERE at www.charlestonmag.com.

I Heard You Twice the First Time

When it comes to managing uncommunicative teenagers, your home is the ideal place to get this surly age group to start talking to you. The second most ideal place is your car, essentially the family home on wheels.

A well-known fact is that everyone feels comfortable in anyone's kitchen, even young adults. So set up an environment that puts teens at ease around a kitchen island or countertop, and organize a project making gnocchi together.  Making and forming gnocchi will be a learning experience, no matter how expert you are already. (If you are frightened by the prospect then get the Academy to do the teaching.)

Here's what happens when you are creating something with your hands and concentration is needed: brains are 75% occupied with task at hand, which makes the other 25% of motor functions relax. Don't ask the Dean why but she knows this is a proven fact after raising four of her own children. Talking subjects can be about the steps to making the gnocchi, a completely non-threatening topic which offers lots of areas for delving into -- food, culture, nutrition, taste. Not to mention that a hands-on experience is always more fun to do with someone else, because you become pals in a project instead of adversaries.

If you can get into a routine (maybe once a month) a one-on-one tradition may start and memories will be made, believe us! Once a skill becomes more familiar and less scary, there is always opportunity for laughing at mistakes which will definitely occur, being proud of the final product, and creating a delicious dinner. With patience, the space will arise for talking about other, more personal subjects...maybe not on the first try but eventually. Number one key: don't ask penetrating questions, which moms can be expert at doing.

Nightly dinners are the time and place to become an active listener. Ask questions that need more than a yes or no response, but remember, not too personal! The big mistake is to do all the talking or give too many opinions. Allow these teenagers of yours time to answer a question so they can formulate what they want to say and how. Let these guys be the smartest ones in the room. Every person needs that. 

Flash Party in Review

No One Hour Party ever left anyone feeling quite like this...at least not of its own accord. 

The reason why the penultimate night of the year is ideal for a One Hour Party is because the following night always starts too early, goes on for too long and ends up a little snooze-y by the time the Ball drops. Not to mention, the OHP must be given in cities or neighborhoods where guests can easily get to the party by foot or by a short taxi ride, without a long travel commitment. Sixty minutes of fun isn’t worth a thirty minute commute.

People arrive knowing they do not have a lot of time, sort of like Henry the VIII with his wives. Get right to it! Find the person you most want to talk to, dispense with wasted words and wasted time, delve into a real conversation. The clicking time clock remains on guests minds in an exciting way.

The infamous Ice Cube Trick worked wonders, saved time and even impressed the Academy’s Dean of Drinkery. The hostess discovered that it only takes a moment to separate ice from water balloons when you run under the faucet to melt slightly. The orbs were placed in waiting Old Fashioned glasses and lined up on the bar for guests to ladle their punch into upon arrival. This functioned as a way to get hands involved immediately -- a tiny but genius trick. (Anybody would rather pour a cocktail than wash a dish.)

As for hors d'ouevres, the hostess made ‘cocktail' instead of ‘breakfast' biscuits, which required a healthy grinding of fresh pepper into the dough. Then, the host filled biscuits with very generous servings of speck and lardo. He announced that the lardo replaced the cheese with its creamy texture. There was enough black pepper plus slices of speck to excite every taste bud and satisfy each stomach until guests enjoyed their dinner at some other place later on in the evening.

Don’t be fooled as to the workload of an OHP. It's hardly different than a regular cocktail party except for the fact that you offer one and only one appetizer + cocktail. The host went with the season and made a citrus & tequila punch. For those who didn’t want hard alcohol or would have rather had wine…too bad! They made due with Pellegrino for sixty minutes.

People policed themselves and really did manage to leave at the one hour mark, except for the couple who stayed and stayed and thank goodness they did! How else would we have discovered our Goose Guest, a financial man with a Ph.D. in goose and all it’s culinary charms? Which brings us to the final secret to any successful party, whether a quickie or an all-nighter: Invite the widest range of guests possible in ages, professions, interests. The Dean herself was honored to be included in the eclectic One Hour Party mix. 

XMAS PARTY VIBES

There's nothing we love more than a good party playlist -- and no one we trust more to compile one than Alex Collier at Sunday Ent.! May your holidays be merry & bright with these jingles from the Master, and perhaps a batch of George Washington's Punch from the Dean...

THE PERFECT PLAYLIST:

Out on the Town in IBU

The Academy is always up for anything dear pals down the street at IBU throw our way, so when they asked the Dean to model their Holiday best, she (quite literally) jumped at the chance! Hitting the streets with old friend Eddie and new friend Amanda in bespoke finery -- which just happens to be ethically sourced and crafted by women in developing countries -- could not have been more FUN. Read more about our adventures and outfits in their most recent newsletter here.

We are happy to say the holidays are upon us, and there's nothing we'd rather wear to parties or gift to our besties than IBU! 

Dinners for Three

The Dean loves a good trio. The chicest dinner party she's attended of late happened in NYC, hosted by a super busy deputy director of a major institution (a friend whose identity shall remain a secret, as always.) Somehow, this doyenne finds the time to cook, set a glorious table, pour champagne, and even, in Summers past, fill a kitchen shelf with bottles of her put-up tomatoes, peaches, plums -- which just proves the Academy's number one discovery: the busiest people in the world somehow manage to get the the most done.

Enter this beauty's house and her dinner is nearly prepared, but not quite. Genius move! The guest sees the host in action and the house smells heavenly so taste buds tingle. The entertaining atmosphere becomes cozy, soothing, comforting, exciting, relaxing all at once because you are hanging out in the kitchen. Who wouldn't fall in love? 

Her no fail hors d'oeuvres? More genius! Chips and cashews. No work, easy peasy.  The water bottles on the table? Genius again! This exotic lady collects interesting shaped liquor bottles and when the alcohol is finished, keeps the beautiful bottles filled with water in her fridge. 

The Dean loves peeking into powder rooms, whether she needs to use one or not. These tiny rooms reveal so much. Her's was moody and sexy with a dimly burning candle, scented not too sweet. (Cloying candles are a major turn off, if you don't already know.) The dark aura would make anyone appear beautiful. Here's a tip -- if you want all your guests to feel glamorous, then the powder room is a tool in your arsenal. 

Back to the guest number...three is just perfect. You will have a chance to really get to know someone if one is unknown. Or, if you are old friends, then you can really catch up. Dinners for three are less work, easier to clean up, and deliver huge returns. Relationships glue together by the end of the night. 

Thank you my NYC Secret Lake Diver.

Expand your Base

Now is the time to  broaden your social horizons.

Make a point to meet someone interesting every single week, someone you want to get to know better. You never know what might develop down the road, or whom you might eventually meet through this person. Perhaps a professional (or even personal) connection will spark.

Rule #1: Make that first date short, a half hour for coffee or tea. Building a long relationship begins with tiny steps.

Rule #2: Remember to leave them wanting more of you, not less -- which means don’t overstay your welcome, make any type of demands, or in any way ask for a favor. In fact, the only things you are allowed to ask are questions about this new person.

Rule #3: Report back to the Academy on how quickly your life is improved by this simple practice....

Life Hacks for MEN

Because men need the Academy* too...

The Dean recently taught a class full of gents looking for ways to improve their life at home. Her sure-fire strategy? Feed your beloved breakfast in bed!

Three words:

• FLOWERS. When arranging, it’s all about color, scent, and simplicity. Pink or red is the color of love. Tulips and daisies are beautiful; lilies and roses smell divine. Combine to up the ante (but careful not to crowd the vase.)

• FRITTATA. Remember, a frittata is just an open-faced omelet. The latter cooks quickly over high heat, while a frittata goes low and slow. Omelets are folded when the eggs are still runny; a frittata is firm, flat, and round. No special pans required, but it should be cooked on both sides. Of course, you could flip in mid-air like a boss, or it’s perfectly fine to employ your broiler. There are an endless number of fillings you can add to a base of eggs (3/person, freshly laid if you can find them), a splash of cream, salt & pepper -- tomatoes and basil, asparagus and creamy cheese, or even any meat/vegetable leftovers you have in your fridge. Try it! See if it’s not delicious.

• FANTASY. It starts with dessert in bed. You can venture away from alliteration, or you could serve Fruit (cored pears, filled with liquor, sprinkled with sugar, and passed under the broiler for a few minutes) and Fudge Cake. Choose your own adventure. You’re also going to need whipped cream, which everyone knows has multiple uses. Make arms strong hand-whipping** and vastly improve, along with a splash of brown liquor, an otherwise ordinary cup of coffee.

Most importantly, Fellas, don’t forget to clean up! The whole point of breakfast in bed is to show the love, and appreciate this fantastic catch of a person who does so much to make your life better. So, if you leave a big greasy aftermath in the kitchen, then you have just ruined all the love vibes you worked so hard to create.***

Join us next week for Class Two: In the Bedroom...where we’ll teach the fine art of making the bed somebody actually wants to jump into.

*And feminism!

**Thou shalt not mention “aerosol can” in the hallowed halls of the Academy.

***Unless, of course, you are in the thick of new romance, then all is forgiven.

Blow Open Your Tabletops

Now to address a few burning Bridal FAQs re: table settings, centerpieces, and personal style. A wedding registry is no time for strict guidelines, but rather a chance to begin building your collection for decades of dinner parties to come. No matter what stress should ever consume your day, you can ease out of it by cooking dinner, sipping a glass of wine, and setting the table (and mood) for the night ahead.

No need to register for two china patterns, one fancy and one for everyday. Way too old school! Far better to delve deep into your inner being and suss out all the aspects of your person. Think color, moods, passions, place...

For example, maybe you appreciate hand-carved wood -- consider a collection of handmade bowls. There's no end to what you can do with these. Use smaller ones for olives and nuts at cocktail hour, or for individual starter salads at dinner. Fill larger bowls with BIG salads, or perhaps something else interesting (citrus, hankies, pens and paper for a parlor game) to set as a centerpiece. Or, choose wooden chargers. And you know what looks good with wood? Gold, of course!

Just look at this extravagant, marvelous, opulent Royal Crown Derby. Who can afford to collect a whole set? And besides that, who wants to? It is so too much, simply over the top. All that gold cancels out to equal a big let down, where a one-size plate sizzles and shines on the table. Perfection! A gold salad plate looks amazing filled with greens for a salad course, chocolate tart for dessert... Actually, everything looks good with gold.

Okay, how to satisfy your love of birds? Consider Ginori. There is nothing as wonderful as a set of 8 or 12 or 24 dinner plates featuring birds. These beauties yearn for a Thanksgiving dinner to be placed on them, but dazzle even under an everyday roast chicken. These plates say something about you; your passion for nature, individual style, love of design. What could be more boring than a whole set of one china pattern covering the table? The older the Dean gets, the more she thinks, YUCK. This person has let someone else tell her what to do, and ignored that inner voice of what she likes.

What appeals most to us? Anything but flipping through ad-filled magazines, shopping at bridal superstores, or listening to friends and family who have never identified true style. Plates and objects on a table are a way to express yourself. So are centerpieces: flowers mixed with fruit, bunches of veggies and greens that will become tomorrows main course, a handmade pie that will become tonight's dessert.

Have fun with the rest! Modern flatware choices might include horn (so chic) or bronze (gleams on the table and unique to boot) but there is still something to be said for a classic silver pattern. The most popular through the ages? Francis the First has that swirly Baroque feel which pairs so well with plain, stark, straight. Don't be afraid to mix high and low. As for napkins, it's all about juxtaposing different colors, textures, and aspects of your personality. Sometimes you feel flirty and fun, other times more composed and traditional. Sometimes girly, sometimes a huntress.

Let it all out on the table, loves. These kind of style decisions will get you well on your way to bolstering your confidence. No one needs to tell you they approve. If you like it, then go for it. That’s exactly what the Dean does, and it has always worked for her. 

Thank You StyleBlueprint!

Recently, the Dean sat down with StyleBlueprint to offer a few tips and guidelines for hosting a truly memorable dinner party: whom to invite, what to wear, how to make it special, and more. You can read the article here (and feel free to tell us about your favorite parties below!)

On Serving Nuts

One tip the Dean picked up this Summer in France and adopted at home in Charleston is an elegant way to serve nuts during cocktail hour. Fill one bowl with nuts and another with little spoons -- for instance, those sterling demitasse spoons your grandmother left you that lay hidden and unused in their felt rolls. Show your guests how to take a spoon, fill with nuts, then place nuts in their hands and snack away. The French approach accomplishes two results: individual portion control and avoiding fingertips in the food. YUCK!

Important Election Season P.S.A.

It's inappropriate to talk about current politics at any dinner party, ever, or even worse, to assume that everyone you know thinks like you do. Almost always the topic (along with sex and religion, categorically) leads to disaster, outrage, gnashing of teeth. We entertain our friends and go to parties to relax and enjoy ourselves, not to get blood boiling. 

When you are at a party and the talk goes to politics, even when everyone agrees with each other, turn to your neighbor and begin another subject or else take a break. Find the powder room, find seconds, find another bottle of wine. There are finer things to discuss during social situations. 

Summer of Love & Honey

It's been a Summer of Love at the Academy. The bees have got it going on! The Academy hives are sizzling hot, not just because of the steamy weather in Charleston; because they've been making babies by the tens of thousands, plus producing at least 70 pounds of honey. To keep all this activity thriving and the happiness factor up, the hives had to be attended to, and soon! The bees needed more room in their beehive condos. Two more stories, AKA supers, were added to each hive this Summer -- one super two months ago, another last week. 35 to 40 pounds of honey already fill the two month-old supers. 

The supers are for honey only. The bottom box of the hive, called the brood box, is for the queen to reproduce, lay her eggs, and raise her young. A cross section of the center of the brood box would show a large round ball, the size of a volleyball, full of eggs and babies. In the corners honey is stored for winter. The bees keep warm during the cold months by beating their wings to give off heat and eating the brood box honey. In hot months, bees live 35 to 40 days. In the cold months they don't work as hard so their life expectancy doubles. Except for the drones….

The females have been throwing the drones out. Females kick them out this time of year because the drones are useless; they don’t collect nectar, they must be fed, they don’t sting (only the girls do!) All these Romeos do is mate. They are tossed out and die on the ground. Yes, it’s heartbreaking and ruthless but Mother Nature is tough. It’s a jungle out there, and this jungle is crowded. Who would suspect that the honey bee population in one tiny walled garden on Rainbow Row may be triple the human population in all of Charleston county?

Gluttony

F.O.M.O. Folks! You are missing out if you do not know it is NOT okay to serve yourself first, yourself only, yourself continuously. The modern approach to eating is gluttonous. 

How to tell if you (or  your partner) are a glutton? Use your eyes, pay attention, look around the table!

• Serving yourself wine first is not only greedy, it is gluttony.
• Do not keep helping yourself to the platter of food at the table or sideboard when others have stopped eating. No one needs three helpings, or four, or even five. (Except teenagers, whose bodies are gluttons for food and sleep.) It’s appalling to sit at a table with others, with the platter of food in front of you, and act like that platter is your personal portion.
• As a guest, you should not help yourself to seconds unless the host asks you if you want more. If this sounds like your partner (or you) then he/she may as well sit in the corner with a Dunce Hat. 

Cheetahs, Usain Bolt, and You

Bolt hits his top speed of about 27 miles per hour at the 70 meter mark. A cheetah reaches their top speed of 60 miles per hour in 3 seconds. You, my dear, have all night to reach your peak, and win your gold medal. Cheetahs, Usain Bolt and other incredible fast runners have to slow down quickly, after a few seconds. Hosts slow down too, the moment the first guest comes through the front door. That’s when we get our groove, relax into our rhythm and timing, pace and energy to set the mood. Our purpose is to lull guests into relaxed, comfortable feeling, or sometimes an anticipatory excited state…depending on our goals.

Usain and cheetahs have more in common than fast running -- they are both beautiful and graceful, as you will be too when you greet your guests, scented and dressed, everything ready to go. Going for gold means thinking through that first drink, the timing of dinner, music for mood, lighting to create a mystery (relying on the full moon outdoors.) Notice that food is not the most important part of entertaining at home. The end goal is to make guests feel good inside: connected, seen, heard, entertained. Imagine all this taking place in your own four walls! It’s amazing what a house can do if you just set it up correctly. Your impact can be lasting, solid gold in the Academy’s world. Filling others with delight, even for a couple of hours, makes your own life more enjoyable and can spark surprising results. Watch what happens!

No Time for Foolishness

Recently the Dean heard news she cannot like; in fact, it has her recoiling in horror. Say it ain’t so! That people the Dean knows, and knows of (with children no less) have not turned their stoves on for over six months -- told like a brag, even with pride! This is foolishness beyond belief. These people are missing out on some of life’s greatest pleasures: relaxation, creativity, bonding, feasting at home.

Here’s what else these fools are missing:

• eating healthier meals,
• making the kitchen (instead of TV) the heartbeat of the house,
• teaching children manners, healthy eating habits, patience, focus and concentration by simply sitting at the dining table, 
• and one of the most joyous daily occurrences, spending time together with people you love eating food you love.

The Academy cannot help these folks. Is there an Academy out there for common sense?

Swanky Soirée

One of Dean Pollak's favorite friends could be the coolest woman in the world. She should be Head Dean of the Academy, but her life is too full and she doesn’t have time to share her secrets. Luckily for you, the current Dean does have the time and is willing to pull back the curtain on this doyenne's latest extravaganza: a white tie ball held in one of New York's grandest party spaces, the recently redone Rainbow Room in honor of the host's granddaughter.

The room is the talk of the town, and this party will be the talk of generations to come. No detail was too tiny for this party genius, and not one of those details was over the top. Our lady has perfect pitch -- from drawing up multi-generational guest lists, seating guests so each feels thrilled, to timing, pace, arrangements, music content and volume, food and drink, and every single particular in between -- each detail woven together to envelop everyone in a web of fantasy for one wonderful night. 

Flower arrangements as big as buildings...

Chandeliers raining down crystals and music for every moment: string instruments to set the mood during cocktails, allowing all ages to chatter...

A 22-piece band (yes, you read that correctly) seamlessly segueing into dance tunes while eight pros twirled their partners, like magnets, pulling guests from dinner tables onto the revolving floor... 

Spinning so slowly, like an old-fashioned LP, that at first the Dean wondered, Am I tipsy? Is there really magic in the world? Can I cover a dance floor so expertly? No! It’s the moving floor!

The Deb. and accompanying rappers whooped it up in the middle of the crowded dance floor, hours and hours after start time.

Some nights should never end!

Dinner Parties Gone Wrong

Wondering what to do when a dinner party goes south?

• DON'T do what Bravo’s Southern Charmers did at Thomas Ravenel’s: look and linger. When a train wreck happens, move fast A.S.A.P. Of course it’s mesmerizing to watch an explosion, but the smart money doesn't. They leave and want no part of a coming disaster. They run, run, run out the door if they are guests who have the option to do so...* 
• DO "keep calm and carry on" if you find yourself host to a train wreck. The Dean once had a guest who threw a tantrum right at her dinner table. The conversation involved politics (might well happen this year, beware!) Said guest lost his cool and bolted. If this happens to you, there is a positive -- people will never forget the evening. To keep things from following suit, simply pretend like nothing happened. The rest of the guests are waiting to see what you do. Guests take their cue from their captain.

*Luckily behavior this bad is a reality on reality shows only and not likely to occur at any real life dinner party.