A Foray Into Your Foyer

The head bartender at the Paris Ritz, Colin Field, says he can extract more information about you from your cocktail order than Sherlock Holmes could. He can tell if you are there to meet a lover, sign a business contract, if you are sophisticated or just plain silly. 

The Deans can preform a similar trick but our medium is your front hall. This room or area is everyone’s introduction into your personal space. Your energy has permeated the front hall during your fifteen thousand walk throughs. The Deans look at your space with impartial eyes and cool objectivity. We can’t help but notice whether the space is open and inviting (which says you are too), or a bit more formal and harder to penetrate. Are coats and keys and pocketbooks left out for people to see, or tucked away in closets? Is the front hall decorated for every season?  Is your artwork global, local or strictly family oriented?

Just like every space in your house, the front hall should evolve through your life. Little children’s artwork is appropriate if there are little children around, but if they have children of their own, those pictures should have been swept out years ago.

The Deans charge you to look at your front hall with our eyes and be sure that what you are conveying to the world is what you mean to. If you are not sure send us a picture and we will help you figure it out. 

Dean Manigault's front hall

First World Problems

Image courtesy of Black Tap Coffee

Has it happened to you too? We bet it has. Starts out innocently enough just meeting a friend for a cup of coffee at that chic new coffee shop and then later swinging in by yourself for a quick pick me up midmorning and without you even noticing, and sooner than even seems possible, you are addicted. Your Mr. Coffee and Brunn drip machine sit on your countertop forlorn and completely confused as to what they did wrong to cause you to abandon them. First it was Starbucks but now it's Couture coffee made with a Hario pour over for which we all line up obediently and happily pay up to five dollars for the privilege of a cup of this valuable black gold.

Are we insane? No, we are not! We just can no longer be satisfied with dark dishwater or bitter home brew. Some of our friends have capitulated and bought expensive coffee machines and diligently recreate these masterpieces in their own homes. The Deans don't fool themselves. Part of what we like is the ritual of communing with people and meeting up with friends. And let's face it, it wouldn't really do for the Deans to become bar flies, so consider us coffee shop flies. 

The Deans List:

(Our favorite coffee shops in Charleston)

• Black Tap
• Collective Coffee
• The Daily
• St. Alban

If Mr. Coffee weeps too loudly for you to ignore at least be sure your coffee is the caliber of La Colombe, Stump Town, or Blue Bottle. 

Can a Hollywood Party Compare to Yours? Surprisingly, Yes!

Dean Pollak went to one of the fanciest parties in LA Saturday night, Sean Penn’s Help Haiti Home Gala and at first glance this evening had nothing to do with our simple east coast at home soiree’s.  But upon second glance……

The Deans are always learning, and a good party is a good party no matter where it is. Great parties contain certain key elements that are the bedrock of successful entertaining, no matter if it’s four people at home or 300 at a public venue.

The most essential element for a fantastic party, tiny or huge, is timing.  One person has organized every single detail, and in this case there was no detail too small for Sean Penn’s eagle eye. It was clear he did not hire an event planner for his party; perhaps to execute his ideas, but not to create them.

Because the party was big, Sean could not greet each guest individually, so he hired extra greeters: a coat was taken care of upon entering and a drink was provided, giving each guest an immediate sense that they were being taken care of for the evening.

Two or three surprise elements punctuated the evening. You might not be able to get Chris Martin or the Red Hot Chili Peppers to your party, or maybe you can, but a local musician to play two or three songs, (four or five is too many) can be unforgettable.  Even Chris Martin only played two songs, remember, less is more!  Other surprises you can interject - party favors, game of charades after dinner, an authentic spicy gumbo, or costume theme, beer place cards. 

The Red Hot Chili Peppers live performance

Chris Martin- impromptu performance

Richard Hotes (Dean Pollak's host) with Charlize Theron

The Deans have said it before this, the end of the party needs to be in sight.  At no time is this more important than at a large party. If your party has a chance of going too long or too short, err on the side of too short. Always leave people wanting more. If everyone gets up and stampedes to the door after dessert, you will know your event went on too long.  

If you see someone you recognize at a party, not someone you see every day, do him/her the favor of re-introducing yourself, even if you are sure they know who you are. Be sure to put yourself in context when saying hello. People are distracted at a party, and a name, where you met them, and your connection to the person are polite and a huge help.

Even when the Deans are treated to a star studded evening, it is heart warming to notice what the Gala has in common with our entertainments.  Just because movie stars are in attendance does not mean the party is a slam dunk.  Timing is always the most important element.  If something goes wrong, make necessary adjustments, but try not to let your timing get off track.  Remember having fun yourself is the whole point of your party.  

Sarah, Carolyn and Tish (Richard's Angels) with Dean Pollak and Richard (founder of the Hotes Foundation)

Beer Place Cards

Texts Are Not Thank You Notes

If you have received any gifts over the holidays you need to sit down at your desk or kitchen table and write some thank you notes. In our technological age they are as rare as a hen’s tooth, but much more valuable. Your parents made you write them, and now the Deans are here to make sure your manners are still intact.

If you splurge for engraved stationary, and we highly suggest you do,  writing these notes will be fun as well. Writing on heavy stock paper is a worth while endeavor and the thick card announces to the world you are not only a person of taste, but one who possess gratitude as well.

The Deans have many ideas on writing the perfect thank you note.  We are going to give you a few thank you samples that you can use and copy & paste into your own content:

1. Everything was perfection last night, starting with you.  
2. You always set the standard for entertaining. Coming to your house is my favorite way to spend a night out. 
3. We had the most wonderful time last night. Everything from the food, the company and ambiance hit just the right note. Thank you for including me. 

Gush more if you want, it will be appreciated, but anything less than the above is sorely substandard. 

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The Deans List:

• Nancy Sharon Collins, Stationer
• Mrs. John L. Strong Fine Stationary
•  Ink Meets Paper 

Thank You Card by Ink Meets Paper

Merry Christmas

Christmas Day is the one day that the Deans are convinced houses are being actually lived in and used. People take the time to make a tasty breakfast, talk to each other, lounge around in their pajamas while opening gifts, many of which are for the home, and enjoy a meal seated around the dining room table.

What the Deans want to see, minus the gifts, is you people doing this once a week all year long. Our gift to you is leading the way on how to live a beautiful life and to stay on top of you until you have learned.

HOW TO LIVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE

The Manliest Men

For the manliest men, the ones most sure of themselves who are elegant, accomplished, debonair, when these men are feeling at their peak only their favorite quaff puts them in the right frame of mind, perfectly chilled champagne.

As most people know, but not everyone, champagne refers only to sparkling wines with grapes grown in the champagne valley. There are some delicious sparkling wines from other parts of the world, but they will never go under the moniker of champagne. And let's face it; there are just no songs with lyrics about sparkling wine.

Ask your local wine shop to pair a different champagne with every course, instead of wine. Dean Pollak’s brother, a former sommelier, sent cases of different champagnes for a multi course dinner in Savannah, Georgia.  For a one-time treat it was effervescent, not overkill.  The hands down favorite that evening was Salon, a singular champagne made by one man with one grape in one region.

Champagne Salon, the original creation by Aime Salon

Charleston’s premier cardiac specialist, Dr. Martin Morad, is a Persian doctor of international fame. Dr. Morad splits his time between his elegant homes in Maine, Washington, D.C. and Charleston, SC. His taste is beyond superb, and so is it any wonder that the first drink he serves whenever he entertains at home, which is often, is champagne? His go to favorite is Phillippe Prie Brut. 

Brilliant men can be found in any profession, and the most brilliant man that Dean Pollak ever knew was The Rev. William Ralston. He had three go to drinks - Old Weller bourbon, Chartreuse, (which he called the Green Eyed Monster), and Veuve Clicquot, the Grande Dame.

But perhaps the most famous champagne loving man of all time is Winston Churchill. Churchill only drank Pol Roget. When he died in 1965 Pol Roger placed a black border around the labels of its white-foil Champagne bound for England.

 As he wrote in 1898:

"A single glass of Champagne imparts a feeling of exhilaration. The nerves are braced: the imagination is agreeably stirred; the wits become more nimble. A bottle produces the opposite effect."

Deans in the Wall Street Journal

The Deans are always saying their domiciles are our everything. They are used as our board rooms, play rooms, wine tasting venues, hideaways....so we are particularly honored to be profiled in a publication that we admire as much as The Wall Street Journal. The editors of the Mansion section opted for Dean Pollak's house for their December 19 issue. Dean Pollak felt right from the start that she was in good hands with writer, Katy McLaughlin, but nothing could have prepared her for the final product. 

When you are looking at Dean Pollak's lean spare style, remember that her children have grown and gone. Dean Manigault's children are still at home so she has clutter and things everywhere.

Sometimes we are envious of the other, other days we love our own house. Style is ever changing. 

A Triumphant Triumvirate

Just as soon as the Deans got our freezers filled we looked around the house to see what else we could get done before the masses descend on us. The freezer was groaning but what about the pantry? Its gaping maw was crying out to be filled with succulent and savory treats for the holidays. Unto the shelves and into the fridge we piled exotic hard cheeses to be cubed, tasty olives, pistachios, dried apricots, whole dried salamis, plus some prosciutto and Bresaola for good measure, candied orange peel, and Jordan almonds for by the door.

We both like a round platter and on to it we pile wooden, crystal and bronze bowls filled with the items from our now stocked pantry. Anyone can drop by anytime and we will be 100% ready.

Into the tiny bit of space we have left in the freezer we are going to fill small round balloons with water so that we have bespoke ice cubes to take our holiday cocktails over the top. Between the cocktails and our samovar of savories our houses will once again be everyone’s go to favorites. 

Bespoke Ice Cubes 

1. Fill a water balloon slightly less than the circumference of your cocktail glass. Twist a long thin piece of aluminum foil into a ring. Rest the balloon within the nest the ring has created. The ring prevents the balloons getting a flat side and keeps them orbicular while freezing. Put the filled balloons, and his many brothers, into the freezer the day before the party. Plan on one per glass.
2. At party time, cut the top of the balloon and peel the rubber off the ice. If the sphere is too big to fit into the glass, simply run under hot water until the ice shrinks a bit.

The Bedrock of Entertaining

Dinner parties are the bedrock of entertaining.  There is no better way to get to know someone than by having them over and cooking for them. A thousand nights in restaurants will never create the same amount of intimacy.  By allowing someone into your house, you are showing them your sense of style, letting them see the books you like to read, the food you like to cook: in short, who you really are.  A little bit of luxury goes a long way at home. An Old Fashioned, a few oysters in a pan roast and a spoonful of chocolate mousse set the mood for an evening to remember.  And you created it all yourself!

 The Dean’s Cheat Sheet

7 is the perfect dinner party number. One conversation shared by the whole group and enjoyed with maximum conviviality.  

Candlelight only, please. The less you can see the better everyone looks.  It is by far the most flattering of all the lights.  

Use your whole house i.e. drinks in one room, dinner at the table and coffee and cordials while lounging sofa side in your living room or den or even outside if the weather permits.

You only need one go-to menu.  It’s the Dean’s job to pair you with the right one.

Keep to a schedule.  If the cocktail hour is actually 2 hours, then someone may have a breakdown - and a drunken one, too - on the living  room floor.

Outsourcing some of the meal is brilliant.  It relieves stress and may make the party happen as opposed to being just a fantasy. No one turns down a bowl of Haagen Dazs or a dessert from from the local bakery and very few guests mind bringing a single cheese with a column of crackers.

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Here are a few of our favorite local spots for outsourcing fabulous courses.

Christophe's - great for those last minute sweets needed for any party.

Goat. Sheep. Cow. - the perfect place to shop for specialty cheeses, wines and meats to bring as a hostess gift or to supply as an appetizer.

The Wine Shop of Charleston - the place to buy super size bottles of wine to woo even the most jaded palate

The Beer Exchange - for the speciality beers which is a must have in every hipster's frig.  

Ice Is All the Rage

Everybody is talking about ice right now. The Deans are dubious that you wish to invest in a $10,000 ice machine to make the latest cubes. You can make ice spheres for less than 5 cents with this simple, eye catching trick.

Fill a water balloon slightly less than the circumference of your cocktail glass. Twist a long thin piece of aluminum foil into a ring. Rest the balloon within the nest the ring has created. The ring prevents the balloons getting a flat side and keeps them orbicular while freezing. Put the filled balloons, and his many brothers, into the freezer the day before the party. Plan on one per glass.

At party time, cut the top of the balloon and peel the rubber off the ice. If the sphere is too big to fit into the glass, simply run under hot water until the ice shrinks a bit.

This single ice sphere melts more slowly than conventional ice and maintains the integrity of your signature cocktail. Party guests adore this trick!! You will be amazed at their amazement!!

Use our sphere with this season's Rye Cocktail and enjoy!

The Most MAH-VELOUS Party

Our mortar boards are off to last night’s hostess. Everything was pitch perfect, including the weather. It was a birthday party for her spouse and she introduced Charleston society to her newest member of team bijou. Champagne and wine were ceaselessly passed around. The Deans, for one, were thrilled to see the champagne coupe being used instead of the ubiquitous champagne flukes.

The Deans always advocate at least three passed hor’s d'oeuvres, but last night’s hostess regaled the crowd with at least eight to ten. Hot parmesan water chestnut puffs, fried pimento cheese balls, bite sized beef tenderloin with horseradish sauce, veal meatballs, sautéed shrimp on a toothpick, prosciutto wrapped arugula…..and those are just off the top of our head.

Outside in the garden played a two-piece band, and what impressed us was one of the two pieces was a trumpet, yet the music added ambiance and didn’t take over. This wasn’t a dance after all.

Next to the bar was the chicest display of wine bottles the Deans remember seeing.

A great cocktail party is the best place to see and be seen. Wear your prettiest dress, get out your jewelry and cast all your troubles aside. No lugubrious conversations here. Keep things fun and flirty, light and bright. This is the time to meet someone new - you can deepen your relationship later, over lunch or dinner. Be sure not to only talk to the people you know. Push yourself to meet at least one new person, and if no sparks fly, move on to the next. Don’t get monopolized and don’t monopolize. Keep moving.

The Deans give this hostess an A+ because she always leads the way and has the best time at her own parties, ensuring everyone else catches her infectious spirit. Brava!

Monticello's Heritage Harvest Festival

The Deans are giddy after our talk at Monticello. We simply had the best time ever. We cannot encourage you more heartily to attend the Heritage Harvest Festival in 2015. We already have next year's event on our calendar.

Monticello invited the Deans to kick off their Art of Living portion of the weekend. We were put up in the most sumptuous guesthouse we have ever seen on a farm in Keswick. On Friday morning we took a walk to get our blood flowing and then on to Monticello for a Behind the Scenes Tour (all four floors) with the most competent tour guide who has ever led us around. The house spoke to us and we listened. Thomas Jefferson is THE founding father of gracious living.

Monticello's Dining Room 

Image credit: Thomas Jefferson Foundation/Sequoia Designs
Copyright © Thomas Jefferson Foundation, Inc.

Friday night's Heritage Harvest dinner was sublime; atop Monalto was a glorious food tent filled with the best wines, ciders and foods that Virginia has to offer. Thomas Jefferson was passionate about vegetable cuisine, plant experimentation and sustainable agriculture...a full two centuries ahead of his time!  Aaron Keefer, the head gardener for the famed French Laundry, was the keynote speaker Friday night and the Deans were enthralled.  He led the audience around his garden and even brought samples including a spinach that tasted EXACTLY like an oyster.  Both Deans wanted to put him in a doggy bag and take him home. 

Saturday saw us on a panel with Charlotte Moss moderating, and Annie Vanderwarker (Fearless Flowers), Holly Shimizu (former director of the US Botanic Gardens) and Gabriele Rausse (Monticello's Director of Gardens and Grounds) and the Deans, all answering questions about The Art of Living. After posing for copious photographs, we were whisked away to deliver our own standing room only talk. We left the Visitor’s Center to sign books on the lawn of Monticello, then were in a short video interview and on to an unbelievable dinner at Red Pump. We are tired just reading about it. How we did it we’ll never know, but boy, it was fabulous. Thank you, thank you Monticello.

Fun facts we learned this weekend:

• Jefferson kept 33 chairs in Monticello's front hall so anyone who wished could wait to see the great man himself.
• Jefferson was so egalitarian that even in his own house, as well as the White House, seating was first come first serve.
• There is no central staircase at Monticello because Jefferson thought it was a waste of precious space and heat. The Deans would follow President Jefferson anywhere, but we are not sure he was 100% on this point:-)
• He made sure his granddaughters were educated because he told them they had a one in fourteen chance of marrying a blockhead.
• The fact that resonated most with the Deans: Thomas Jefferson used his dining room twice a day! How many times have you used yours in the last year?

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The Monticello dining room has seen many fabulous meals in its day.  In the book Dining at Monticello: In Good Taste & Abundance, we have found an authentic recipe from Monticello using Mutton Chops which today can be substituted for lamb. 

MUTTON CHOPS

Serves 4 to 6

INGREDIENTS

8 mutton or lamb rib chops (at least 3/4 to 1 inch thick)

Salt

Whole black pepper in a pepper mill

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup Mushroom Catsup (can be found by some specialty condiment companies)

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into bits

1/2 cup freshly grated horseradish

1.  Prepare a grill with hardwood coals.  When the coals have burned to a medium-hot fire, rub the grill rack with a cloth dipped in lard or bacon drippings and position it about 4 to 6 inches above the coals.

2.  Season the chops with salt and several grindings of pepper and grill them, turning once, until cooked to the doneness of choice, about 3 to 4 minutes per side for medium rare.  Remove them to a warm platter and set aside to keep warm.

3.  Bring the water to a simmer in a small saucepan.  Add the Mushroom Catsup, additional salt if needed, and simmer for about 1 minute more.  Remove from the heat, whisk in the butter, and pour it over the chops.  Sprinkle a little horseradish over them, and spoon the remaining horseradish around the edges of the platter.

NOTE: Readers who are not concerned with authenticity or who are unable to grill-broil may use the oven broiler.  Position a rack about 6 inches below the broiler and preheat for 20 minutes.  Rub the broiling pan rack with lard or drippings and lay the chops on it.  Lightly brush them with melted butter and season with salt and pepper.  Broil, turning once, until done to taste, about 3 to 4 minutes per side for medium rare.

WWJD

What would Jefferson do?  The Deans are packing up to go to Monticello for the Fall Festival Harvest this weekend to ask him ourselves. We couldn’t be more excited.

Thomas Jefferson's ethos is the plinth atop on which the Academy perches. What the Deans espouse, Thomas Jefferson taught us: a house is the ultimate tool for living. Remarkably, both Deans live in 18th century houses, so we have loved poring over Thomas Jefferson’s style of household management and find much that we can incorporate today and much to ponder. One question that we simply can’t get out of our heads is where did Sally Hemings sleep? Did he bring a French chef back to the United States? What questions do you want answered? Let us know and we will ferret out the answers anon.

Left: Exterior home of Lee Manigault                                                                           Right: Interior home of Suzanne Pollak

Being ever hungry Deans, we plan to stop at least half a dozen places to eat on our drive up 95. Please let us know if there is a gem we might miss. The first night we are there, we are sampling some of Richmond's delights.  Rappahannock we hear is fab, as well as a jewel called Mamma Zu.  Perhaps a night in the historic Jefferson hotel to get us in the mood? We are booked for a behind the scenes tour of Monticello on Friday and we are tickled pink.  We plan to sit in the lotus position being carried room to room so we can absorb as many vibes from TJ himself as we can.  We just know he has been dying to share his secrets with us personally, so we can spread his message, just like the seeds he so loved to scatter.  Saturday finds us speaking from 12:00 - 1:00 p.m. and on a panel with Charlotte Moss, Annie Vanderwarker, Holly Shimizu, and Gabriele Rausse. Heady company indeed. 

Get tickets here to join us at the festival where we will talk about Living Like Thomas Jefferson: 18th Century Living in a 21st Century World.

Monticello's West Front and pond

Gibbes Museum Talk

Listen to Dean hold forth on the Art and Science of Living at Home. Turn your home and life into a work of art. 

Hear about developing an eye, creating collections and centerpieces, improving tastes in food and interiors 

http://www.gibbesmuseum.org/gibbes_blog/?p=4437

The Deans' List: A Few of Our Favorite Things

SANDWICH from Goat Sheep Cow 

Taffin CANDLE

J.McLaughlin DRESSES 

Old Bay Spice  ALL AMERICAN

SIMPLEST RECIPE ON THE PLANET

SALTINES and SMOKED OYSTERS 

1.  Spread softened butter lightly on a saltine.

2.  Sprinkle old bay seasoning and bake in 300 oven for five minutes.

3.  Top with smoked oysters. 

ACADEMY BIBLE

Thanks are not just for Thanksgiving

Unless you live under a rock it is most likely that over the weekend someone did something for you that deserves a thank you. Not surprisingly, knowing the Deans as you do, we are passionate about thank you notes. Some of our friends are so good at writing notes, we do favors for them just in anticipation of their delightful missives. Each thank you note should be like a snow flake, individual and unique to the experience, so we have selected a few  that stand out so that they may inspire you. 

As you brave the South Carolina highways, we bathe in the warm glow of Friday night.  For some reason my mind keeps leaping back to that first view of the round table.  All the amazing silver goblets nestled between green fronds, glass upon glass, the promise of magic from your kitchen cauldron.  How do you do it? xx 

Of course, I never feel that I've had enough time with you.  It feels like we are old friends and really need days to catch up.  You are such an extraordinary host, and so graceful in every situation.  Thank you for your lovely lunch. xx

Or you can always fall back on one of the Deans favorites:

Thank you so much!!= I loved it and love you for giving it to me. xx

Below we have included an over the top favorite, from Celeste.  Heer notes are always of the highest caliber and make the Deans smile.  Enjoy!

From the desk of Celeste B.

Darlings;

How many times have we been faced with the task of writing a thank you note for a dinner party? May I suggest hundreds if not thousands in a lifetime of respectable dining? Though it may have been ghastly in every way there must be some salvageable terms to describe one’s, and a companion’s, experience. Here are a few guidelines that have served me well:

Don’t begin with “thank you”. Strain to be a little creative and launch directly into a description of the experience. “Your dinner was a delight...”, “We were so pleased to be included...” or “From the moment we arrived.., etc.” I offer these as exemplars for you to craft a less boring and slightly more personal note.

If the flowers were beautiful say so. Use your excellent powers of recall and of observation to describe the surroundings. No occasion is meat and potatoes only. Your hostess has gone to considerable difficulty to obtain horticultural exotica and other precious out-of- season twiggy bits. Even if she hasn’t, you must always make her feel as if she had considered and weighed every design choice with mighty concentration. If she winds up with limp petunias then remark on how heavenly their colors complemented the table cloth. Find something.

Observation is the key. Pick a conversation you may have had and express it as an anecdote without revealing anything too personal, unless of course it is to your advantage. “The President was telling me...” is permitted on that occasion but try to remain neutral on details so that the tone of your observation is not misunderstood. “Your brother told me that his bail may be revoked,” is a bit too revealing but “Your brother certainly was animated,” is approved. In some cases you may choose a neutral speaker to hide identity altogether: “The conversation was spirited and the anecdote about the judge and the donkey was most amusing.”

When music is provided as accompaniment be sure to ask for the playlist or to complement the performer. It proves you were paying attention after all.

Mention the courses but not in a litany of the menu. Pick a couple of dishes you may even have enjoyed and mention them. Do not ask for the recipe. It just gets awkward after that especially if they come to your house and get a better version of the same dish. Say how marvelous the preparation, sauce, condiments, or something surrounding the dish was. Again be a keen observer but don’t go overboard and praise the ordinary as something it is not: “The parsley was so green.”

Don’t fail to give credit to the setting. She may have brought out her grandmother’s Depression glass service because it is special to her, not that it is retro or à la mode. Distinguish the setting in some way to show appreciation: “So many perfect forks,” “The salt spoons were an inspiration,” or “The table cloth was exquisite” are handy expressions if you mean them.

Be sure to close with the lingering glow which the entire event has forever emblazoned in your memory and you will be assured of sincere and gracious invitations for the rest of your life and maybe make friends in the bargain. 

The Why's, What's, Where's and How's of Invitations

If your invitation is not telling people where to go, at what time, what to wear, and what to expect then your invitation is an abject failure. An invitation that does not answer all the above is not only confusing,  but can cause unintended stress to your recipients. 

Dean Pollak was invited to a seated dinner for thirty, quite a lavish affair, but the invitation was lack luster and only said "See you at eight." All attendees were expecting a cocktail party, and many had made post-cocktail plans, while others wandered in during and after dinner. A two part problem ensued: some people canceled their second plan, others had to beg off the main event and admit they were confused. Worst of all by far was that nobody had that vital pre-party rush of anticipation of something over the top. 

We know of a friend's husband who threw his wife a surprise birthday party.  His particular pet peeve has always been the phrase 'festive dress' and boy, do we concur. What does that jumble of words mean? We have no idea and we know you don't either. It is a useless phrase that should be abolished permanently, along with 'black tie optional' (either it is or it isn't), festive black tie, and casual. The word casual sounds like it could be helpful, but the word means too many things to too many people. Right in our own city it can mean blue jeans or coat and tie, depending on the party's location. Helpful phrases are: 'coat and tie', 'no tie', (which implies a blazer and no tie), black tie.

Wedding invitations are always tricky: from the weight of the paper to the size of the event. The size of a wedding guest list always mushroom clouds. Unknown, or long forgotten relatives, are dusted off and pushed to the forefront. This leaves less room for long standing friends and hurt feelings can run rampant. Everyone needs to take a deep breath. If the host cannot have everyone they want, they can either throw a big party before or after wedding, and/or, they can inform some of their friends who may reasonably expect to be invited, that they are super sorry but that they have a very finite, small number that they must stick to and they simply cannot have all the people they want, as much as they wish they could.

Invitations are always a welcome surprise, and the Deans just want to make sure you are getting the most bang for you buck.  We know it can be tempting to be cute and original, but you never want to go so left field that you miss the key points.  Stay on topic and make sure all the information you want to impart is in your invitation.  If you are giving a special seated dinner, be sure to toot your horn a bit.  Everyone loves to be excited about a future event.  Always remember that you are in charge and that people will be looking to you for all their cues about what to expect.  That's why indecisiveness can cause angst.  An easy rule can be that if you think about yourself receiving the invitation, what would you want to know.  This causes you to listen to you own voice, and your will be spot on!

Celeste's Requests

The Deans just were forwarded this charming response to out last blog!  Enjoy.

Darling;

I just had to sit right down at my writing desk and respond to your blog. That is what they call it I think, although I am not exactly sure what that means.

Any-who, your summary of the holiday birthday party was an enchanting insight into certain echelons of Charleston society. I especially appreciated the nod to the gracious hostess of a certain age who made background introductions for the multitude: so important to put everyone at ease. I did note that some of the guests seemed in a delicate state even at the outset. The fact that she did not highlight the two falling-down events was very much appreciated by the attendees who continued to celebrate without missing a beat. I simply couldn’t agree more with your sentiments.

Don’t you love the new technology that permits affordable, constant and well-selected musical accompaniment for any occasion!? The tiny storage device plugged into the mammoth speaker system reached every corner of the joyful event. Our hostess will no doubt be saving the musical collection for her daily power walks. Of course the whole event was happily recorded as videos of varying quality. Suffice it to say that the guests had the good taste not to post any content on the internet! We just hate being tagged without permission, don’t you?

And the food was ne plus ultra if you ask me. The kale salad went in a trice and all I found was a gleaming white bowl when I arrived at the buffet banquet table, so that just goes to show that our fellow revelers know what’s good for them. Heaping bouches of goat cheese always remind me of holidays in Provence, no matter the season. The cascades of cava were welcome refreshment and added just the right fizz to the tuna ceviche. Let’s not forget the sourdough pretzels direct from Lancaster PA either! Just sublime to my thinking.

All’s well in our little neighborhood and the streets have been swept in anticipation of a glorious holiday season sans collegiate crowds.

Looking forward, we must get together. Wallace sends kisses all around.

                                                                        Toodles,

                                                                        Celeste 

Christmas Is Upon Us

Thornwillow has more illustrations by the talented Tania Lee.

We love going to other people’s parties because we always get ideas about what to do and sometimes about what not to do. 

A Sample of a Dean’s weekend

Birthday cocktail party… the guests were from all over the country so not everyone knew each other. The hostess made sure all guests connected and provided a real bridge during the introducing of two people.  She highlighted unusual and quirky facts that immediately elevated the tone and facilitated cutting through miles of bullshit.  Once you knew that you were in the presence of the greatest hairdresser on Broadway, discussion of the weather seemed insignificant.  The birthday girl’s enthusiasm and excitement infused the atmosphere with zest and verve.  The Deans proclaim that jaded attitudes are over this holiday season.  We only want to be around the passionately positive.  All ennui must be left at home. 

Sunday Caroling

If you want your guests to move twice during your party all together as one group, be warned.  This is not as easy as it may appear, so when we see it pulled perfectly, we nod our toque in appreciation.  Dean Pollak went to a Caroling party with a masterful hostess who exudes power.  She marshals her guests with a velvet glove that is no less authoritative than a bullwhip.  When she says its time to move to the next room, her guests are only amazed they had not thought of it themselves.  They sang in one room, decorated the tree in another, and ate in yet a third.  This hostess also knew that more is not always more. A smallish plate, not over laden because the food was rich, was ample reward for jobs well done. And somehow, just when we were thirstiest, a glass of Pellegrino was at the ready.  How did she know that, too?! The menu was so fantastic we included it here:

• Grits and Wild Mushroom Stew
• Stoneground Grits
• Crispy Sausage Biscuit
• Christmas Cookies

Intimate Dinner Party 

Dean Pollak went to the most elegant evening that she has enjoyed in as long as she can remember. One of Charleston's preeminent museum houses, the Edmondston Alston House  was returned to its original purpose. Guests descended the staircase into a vast candlelit chamber under a twinkling chandelier.  The table was set for eight and covered with a lace tablecloth, strewn with camellias, and each champagne glass was a different Murano stem. Add to this excitement the food was beyond comparison. A seafood gratin was the centerpiece. The Deans were filled with jealousy that we do not have this recipe in our arsenal. 

A Mah-velous Party

st. germa close angled

Both Deans were invited so that told us right there that the party was on the right track.

The main reasons we loved it so much:

· The party was impromptu and we felt like going out.

· It was in honor of an out of town guest who we had never met. A TV star to boot.

· Delicious food displayed on platters everywhere we looked.

· Our hostess had enough food to satisfy the hungriest of the participants with no need to supplement with an added dinner.

· The attendees were limited to fifteen, which ensured everyone felt honored to be there.

· With only fifteen people the Deans were able to check in with everybody and have prolonged discussions with quite a few.

· There were familiar faces but several new ones too.

· Lit candles lined the walkway, and two subtle flower arrangements were all the décor necessary. The candles to generate excitement and the flowers to say you are wanted. No detail was too over the top, which both Deans shy away from.

The Deans consider themselves lucky to have been invited and give the party a unreserved A+. We loved getting out of our own houses, especially the test kitchen, and being guests for awhile instead of hosting classes. What a treat!